ow to say no when someone asks to borrow money l Moneymax

"May extra coin ka ba diyan? Pautang naman."

Sick and tired of getting a request to loan coin for the nth fourth dimension? Wondering how to say no when someone asks to borrow money?

What makes this state of affairs tricky is that information technology'southward difficult to say no to someone dear to you lot, despite your best efforts not to intendance near what people call up of y'all. Just at the same time, you don't want to compromise your own finances.

Utang is part of the Filipino culture, so much that the percentage of adults with outstanding loans increased to 33% in 2019 from 22% in 2017, based on the 2019 Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas Financial Inclusion Survey. Of those with loans, 44% borrowed from informal sources, specially family and friends.[i]

In other countries like Commonwealth of australia and New Zealand, family unit disputes stemming from unpaid loans even achieve the courts. That'southward rare in the Philippines.

Table of Contents

  • What Makes Lending Money so Bad-mannered?
  • How to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Money
    • ane. Go along Your Financial Status Private
    • 2. Consider Your Human relationship with the Borrower
    • 3. Don't Be Pressured Into Saying Yeah
    • 4. Simply Tell Them You Don't Loan Money
    • 5. Exercise Saying No
    • 6. Heed and Sympathize
    • seven. Give Yourself Time to Recall of an Appropriate Response
    • 8. Be Clear About Your Priorities
    • 9. Explicate Your Financial Situation Honestly and Calmly
    • 10. Offer to Assist in a Different Fashion
    • 11. Stand Your Basis
  • Final Thoughts

What Makes Lending Money so Bad-mannered?

When money gets into a human relationship, things are jump to become weird and awkward. Money is considered a sensitive and intimate subject for a lot of people. That's why people don't normally get into specifics about their financial situations, how much coin they have saved, and how much money they owe.

So in one case you lend money to a friend or a family unit fellow member, your relationship with that person too changes, whether y'all similar information technology or not. They may experience indebted to you in more ways than one. Knowing that, it can besides give you a sense of power over them. In brusk, you're at present a kind of loan officeholder every bit well, aside from their all-time friend, cousin, niece, or nephew.

And because it's a friend or relative you're loaning the money to, there's really no guarantee that they'll pay you back for it. No thing how well you think you know someone, there may all the same exist surprises or secrets when information technology comes to how they handle their coin.

How to Say No When Someone Asks to Infringe Money

It tin be tough to say no to lending money, specially if it's someone who's really in demand of information technology. But in that location are guilt-free ways to do it. Here are some suggestions to consider.

1. Keep Your Financial Status Individual

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - keep your financial status private

Most of the time, friends and family members come to you for money considering they know you can afford to lend it to them. How? They see your online purchases, your food cravings from different restaurants, and your quick weekend getaways at cute bazaar hotels on your social media accounts all the time. Since you look so financially comfy, surely you lot can spare a few thousand pesos for someone in need, too?

If you don't want to exist in these people'south radar whenever they're facing greenbacks emergencies, avoid sharing besides much about your finances and your lifestyle. No one needs to know how much coin you make, where yous invest it, and what you lot spend it on. Keep your finances private and then that friends and family won't be under the impression that getting a loan from yous is already a given.

2. Consider Your Human relationship with the Borrower

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - consider your relationship

When you receive a telephone call or a message from someone borrowing coin, i of the starting time things you lot should consider is your relationship to that person. Your response will depend on how shut you are to this person and how long you've known each other.

If it'southward someone you barely spoke to at your previous job, or just an online acquaintance, it'due south very like shooting fish in a barrel to say no and be direct almost it.

Just if it's a sibling, a cousin, or an aunt that you're actually shut to, that's a different thing. You need to consider your words and then as not to injure their feelings and put a strain on your relationship every bit well.

3. Don't Be Pressured Into Saying Aye

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - don't be pressured into saying yes

Earlier you can actually say no to whatsoever loan money request, it'due south of import to outset sort out your feelings about it.

While it's considered selfish and a little also harsh to decline to assistance loved ones financially, you're in no way obligated to give in to any request that'south confronting your volition. It's your difficult-earned money we're talking about—whether you lot can beget to lend money or not, it'due south your phone call how yous use it.

The pressure often comes from the need to repay one'due south utang na loob, fear of confrontation and being badmouthed, or the Filipino'due south innate generosity. Sometimes, the people who try to infringe money are the ones pushing yous to make a quick—and favorable—decision past creating a sense of urgency.

Look that in almost cases, coin borrowed past family and friends are likely to be never paid back—no matter how much they assure you lot that they'll return the cash. If yous're on a tight budget, lending money is simply non an selection.

iv. Just Tell Them You lot Don't Loan Money

Personal finance expert Fitz Villafuerte gives a sensible slice of advice: Tell them point-blank that as a personal rule, you don't lend money to friends[2] (or relatives, whichever is applicable). Such statement is direct nevertheless doesn't pass judgment to the person.

Delaying your response or being wishy-washy nearly it won't help. Neither does getting them seenzoned on Facebook and hoping they'd get the hint.

Read more than: ix Bacon Loans to Consider for Financial Emergencies

5. Exercise Proverb No

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - practice saying no

From a psychological perspective, you lot can railroad train your heed to make saying no a habit when someone asks you a favor, especially if you're naturally a people pleaser who ever say yes.

Research shows that planning and rehearsing your response before you receive a request allows you lot to reply in a manner that's consistent with what yous originally intended, like maxim no to a friend who keeps asking for money.

Come with a default not-committal response (e.g., "Sorry, I tin't loan money to y'all this time." or "Pasensya na, medyo tight talaga ang budget.") and practice proverb it before you're confronted with a request to borrow cash.

6. Mind and Sympathise

It'due south a dissimilar thing when someone close to you comes upward and asks for your assistance. Give your family member or friend the benefit of the incertitude—they may be actually in a serious financial trouble.

Heed intently, exist genuinely concerned, and show that you're trying your best to empathise the state of affairs—without promising or committing to annihilation.

This mode, you lot make the person experience you aren't disregarding his or her feelings. Also, having a clear picture of the circumstances that have led to the demand to borrow will enable you to help without having to loan money to your family or friend.

Read more: Emergency Loans and Other Convenient Ways to Borrow Coin

7. Give Yourself Fourth dimension to Retrieve of an Advisable Response

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - give yourself time to think of an appropriate response

Depending on the relationship you lot have with the person, an outright "no" may crusade tension betwixt you and your family or friend.

Later listening to the person, tell them that you'll need some fourth dimension to check your budget and assess your finances. Give information technology around one to three days—this is enough time for you lot to retrieve of a good response and for the person to figure out other ways to obtain money.

8. Exist Clear About Your Priorities

It'southward much easier to say no if you know your fiscal priorities—like saving upward for your child'due south education or a domicile or car purchase—than if you lot aren't sure virtually the things that matter to y'all.

Keep your own finances your priority—and be firm about it. After all, you can't help others financially if you tin can't even sort out your ain finances.

ix. Explain Your Financial Situation Honestly and Calmly

When you explicate your decision, be honest and assertive nearly your reasons for turning down the loan money request. But be at-home as well—avoid speaking in an angry tone, no matter how exasperated you are with the person or situation.

Let your friend sympathize your financial state of affairs and goals, and how lending coin may not fit into the moving-picture show. You lot can say, "I'd actually love to help y'all, merely I'm on a tight budget right at present, just like you lot. Sorry, I can't afford to lend you lot money right now."

Such a response doesn't give much detail merely conspicuously states your point without pain someone's feelings. If that person is really close to you lot, they will sympathise and volition not agree grudge against y'all.

No demand to overexplain. Sharing more details than necessary might make the person feel that y'all recall he or she can't handle a refusal.

x. Offer to Aid in a Different Mode

Can't beget to support your loved one financially but you actually want to help? You tin do so without shelling out cash. Sincerely offer not-monetary assistance. This is a great way to soften the impact of rejection and assist the person become less reliant on financial aid from family and friends.

Here are some ways to back up family or friends who effort to infringe money:

  • Help them find a raket or side business organization. Or share any opportunity or idea you know that lets them earn extra income
  • Tell them to get a low-interest personal loan that allows them to borrow money at a low cost. If you have actress fourth dimension, you tin assist them in preparing the document requirements or inquiry anything they need to know to qualify and get canonical for a loan.
  • Accompany them in finding and applying for scholarships, grants, and other forms of fiscal assistance from different entities for their specific financial demand.
  • If they're always short of cash and tin't seem to get their finances in order, offer to help review and rail their upkeep.

Read more: Need Cash? Check These Options for Easy Loan Application in the Philippines

11. Stand Your Footing

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - stand your ground

What if your family and friends keep pestering y'all? No thing what, be firm with your decision. Reiterate what you've said to let them know that you've made up your mind and there's no irresolute it. They'll understand and respect your conclusion.

If they react negatively, don't hesitate to allow them know how they're making y'all experience. Tell them that you value your friendship or relationship. However, their actions are making you experience uncomfortable, stressed, or unhappy fifty-fifty if you've made information technology articulate that you won't be able to loan money. People who truly love you care about your feelings and wouldn't desire to hurt yous.

If they still won't back down, only let things exist, focus on the good, and movement on. The state of affairs may have toll your relationship. Merely at to the lowest degree you aren't stressing over collecting a debt or running short of budget.

Final Thoughts

When declining to loan money to friends or family unit members, never feel guilty about it. You have your own needs and priorities to take care of. Can you bear touching your kid'due south tuition fund or your family's food budget, for instance, merely considering you tin can't say no to a friend?

Refusing to loan money isn't beingness selfish. You aren't helping people by lending them money. Information technology only teaches them to be more financially dependent on others instead of helping themselves.

Apply for a personal loan at Moneymax!

Sources:

  • [1] 2019 Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas Fiscal Inclusion Survey
  • [2] Treatment Friends Who Borrow Money